I’ve been reading The Gift: How the Creative Spirit Transforms the World by Lewis Hyde (Download it free by joining Canongate Publishing’s website). It has got me thinking about gift giving a lot, especially with the Holidays and everything. I’m super broke and was brainstorming gift options for my peeps. There is so much pressure to go and buy shit for all the people you love. It doesn’t matter if they have everything they could ever want, somehow the gift seems to become a symbol for how much you care about or love a person. The more expensive and thoughtful, the more you love them. But even if people spend all the money they can and think really hard about it, how many gifts in your life do you actually treasure and keep forever? How many become the sentimental tokens that sincerely emanate the givers love to you for all eternity? Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the gifts I have received over the years, but how many of them have grown to symbolize the love my family and friends have for me, the love we have for each other?

I think we’re going about this all wrong. It’s like we have Christmas because we need something to bribe us into spending time with our families. But what if instead of stressing out about the right gift or giftcard, we did something that was meant to bring us closer together?

I’m not sure what this could be. Maybe it’s making up traditions, like playing charades after dinner, or going for a walk (if the weather’s not to bad). Maybe it’s singing karaoke, or something corny like sharing a memory of holidays past. Maybe everyone can plant a seed together, take their charge home and watch it grow all year.

Whatever it is, I’m craving some continuity in these holiday gatherings. I want to be connected to all those people who have drifted in or out of this celebration over the years. I want to know what my ancestors did for Christmas Eve. I want to look forward to the one thing or activity that will make us all realize, together, that we are awesome and lovely as a unit.

I think we need to beat on some drums and call our ancestors to the table. I think we need to make some myths, break out the headdresses, find some traditional colors to wear. Let’s make some hand signs, lets make a family crest and all get tattoos of it. Let’s give each other all one necklace and pass it around every month. I want singing and dancing and giving back to this great earth mother. I want to wail for the sadness and dance for the happiness of last year and tomorrow. I want to tell the tale of how our people came to be here and now. I want to be thankful for us. For the tribe we have formed. For the masses we have gathered together. For those we have lost and those we have found.

Because it’s this togetherness, this place, this time, these people, this love that is the best gift. And if we’re all staring at our iPods or shaking the boxes under the tree, I’m afraid we’ll miss it.