I didn’t wake up early this morning. Boyfriend’s alarm went of at 7am, and after a couple 5 minute snooze intervals, I had to tell him to shove it up his ass.
I mean, I was asleep.
Lately I’ve been really sensitive to the things I put in my body. I can’t drink nearly as much coffee as I used to, which was a lot. And last night during dinner with mom, I could barely have a glass of wine before I got a headache which lasted all the way to the morning and made it so hard to get my eyes open and my head around being awake, and mornings.
I did get up eventually around 9, and make delicious oatmeal with nuts and berries. Yesterday my oatmeal breakfast lasted me until 2pm, by which time there was a sleeping baby on me and I couldn’t move. Then there was sleeping baby and boyfriend, and I was pinned to the couch until mom came back.
I’ve decided, in this spurt of self-improvement, that the next two things to get rid of is my tv-on-the-internet habit, and this white powder binge I’ve had for a while now. No more box chocolate cupcakes or candy.
It’s not so much about depriving myself. It’s more about spending more time doing things that don’t make me feel shitty. Or rather, spending less time doing things that make me feel shitty, and more time doing things that make me feel good. Writing is one of those things. Being outside, reading, running around barefoot, and taking long walks is another one of those things. Spending all night watching bad movies and eating sugar until I feel sick and pass out is not one of those things.
My body aches from sitting in front of the computer all day on various couches and beds and not sitting up straight. My wrists hurt, nothing moves much in any direction, and I miss that time when I did yoga twice a day and everything was loose. I was like Gumby. You just needed to grab and pull and I could bend any way you wanted.
